its going to be ok...

It’s like I want to turn the music up real loud.
So loud I can’t hear reality
Or pain
Or truth about the fates
Of people’s lives.

And at the same time I’m putting up my fists, and see in my heart the preparation for a battle.
I’ve never known anyone with HIV/AIDS.
I’ve never seen a baby who carries the disease within her tiny veins.
A poison we still cannot relieve.
i have not seen, until now.

This makes my world confused.
Because now, I close my eyes and go straight to a room on the second floor of a Sonagachi lane. See a woman and a face and eyes who are dying from a poison they were sold into.
And I keep telling myself.
We keep telling each other it’s going to be ok.
Good is going to happen.
The Bible says all things work together for good, for those in Christ Jesus.
Even AIDS?
Even 2 year olds with HIV?
Its going to be OK.

And I talked with a foreign guy today, a Christian worker about his time here…
His words…
“I’ve been here 7 years and this is what I’ve learned, you can’t get close to any of them…”

I’ve been here for a year…and I’ve come to realize there should be no such thing as “them”.

Oh God, be with us. Oh God have mercy on your Beloved.
Please show yourself faithful. Even as we place our trust in you.
Amen.

take a step back.

If you take a step back. Look around. Let your eyes adjust to the light. Breathe in the air around you. You might just remember. Or realize where you are isn’t where you were. Who you are, isn’t what you planned.
Look around. Let the breeze of the day wind around your hair, let the traffic pass you standing still. Let your mind soak up what you tend to pass as scenery, insignificant…irreplaceable.
Take a breath that stings inside, and swallow it. Taste the thickness in the air, lick it from your lips, and remember that food is more than the bread we break.
And life is more than a year we’ve lived. More than the one we possess.
Take a step, to see the eyes of generations. Take a step to appreciate. Huddled together on the wiry backside of their three legged chariot. What grandness dwells in the minds of children, when imagination is what creates the greatest of games.
And I step to see them, as us.
I step to understand.
And include.
I step towards her. And she stays planted. Solid. Frozen. Take a step where understanding dare not trod. Take a step to crumbling walls, stained from broken destinies. Your feet stumbling across the broken path, kicking up dust where countless steps were made behind you. And footprints, impressions, blow away like the evening’s last glimpses of light. Take a step, and see her life. As counted. Take a step to show her life, as worth. And her pain as true. Take a step and choose not to disappear and recover evaporated dreams.
Take a step and let your eyes regain focus, and see the miles having passed, the miles yet to come. Let go of the map you’ve charted, and take a step, and see just where it might take you.

hello kolkata!

welcome home to me. and i must say, it is nice to be back. strapping in and settling into the swing of things around here again. after being away for a month give or take a few days, its nice to stow away the backpack for awhile.

this is again a bit short this morning, but wanted to share a few fun pictures from my last month. enjoy.here's a little backwards glimpse from nepal...and me modeling a tupee...

and here is sarah and i enjoy our last night on the beach in thailand w/the Servants crew. it was a great conference and a fun time away with Sarah.

still in thailand.

well, greetings from thailand. its been a great time here, meeting the lovely folks from servants (another organization working w/the urban poor in asia) and just spending some rest time before i head back to the heat and grind of kolkata. although i must say i really do miss my home there and am ready to get back in the routine of daily life...not so normal, but routine in some ways all the same.
as of now i'm staying at a guest house in bangkok. enjoy starbucks coffee, and the occasional burger king cheese burger. gosh i love red meat! and of course i am loving the freedom of trading in my long pants and salwar tops for tank tops and shorts. the simple things mean so much more when do without them for awhile.

there's been so much to reflect on after leaving this conference w/servants. but i 'm afraid it will have to wait for yet another time, because i'm a bit overwhelmed by all i heard, and the way it is challenging my life. community, living with the poor, christ's suffering, how we are to suffer on behalf of our friends, etc...you know, just a light afternoon's worth of thinking...

anyways, i'll be back to kolkata on sunday.
peace to you all. and much love.
bethie.

update, quick style.

well, kolkata is well on her way to warm weather. its not sweltering yet, but wait, it will come...those cold showers just grow more and more inviting as time wears on.
as for nepal, it was beautiful refreshing. lovely. and it was a great time with my team as they got to experience another wmf community and some different landscape for two weeks. not to mention lots of tasty food and a drop in temperature.
april is shaping up to be far busier than i had thought as i leave again with sarah tomorrow for a conference in thailand for ten days.
but although its busy there are some great things happening. sunday we had a palm sunday celebration at our flat for all the sari bari ladies and their families. sarah made goat curry and we watched the passion of the christ. which many ladies had their face ripped off by seeing. it was a new turn in their understanding of God's love for them. they are women who understand suffering, and so to see someone else taking suffering on behalf of their lives, on behalf of their pain… it had a deep and profound impact on them. God is moving among us, among the women and bringing newness, healing, and His power. and i can't believe i get to live here and be a part of it all.
until next time.
peace.

also, here's a few little treasures from nepal. what beauty.