what is it about birthday cakes and candles.
makes me feel all gooey inside.
celebration. recognition. laughter.
like the last spoonfuls of cake and icecream.
scrape the bowl to savor every last drop. lick the bottom if you must.
i usually want to.
today was one of our servant team member's birthdays.
and it was beautiful to watch one of our staff, Upendra, unfold a party plan for her only after having met her once before. an example of honest genuine celebration. any excuse for a good party. a good excuse to make someone feel really special. and again i took a moment to realize just what beautiful staff we get to work alongside here in india. my team spent the afternoon eating at his home, enjoying savory dishes prepared over a morning's length in time, and listening to Upendra's life stories. beautiful struggle, painful reality. testimony and strength.
gosh our staff are great.
i love rediscovering things. learning new stories about old friends. collecting more memories to paste into my life's patchwork scrapbook. i love dancing around our living room and learning the twists and turns of the great salsa dance. i love drinking water from our plastic wine glasses. i love cake and icecream and any reason to celebrate life. i love friends with good, no great, listening ears. and i love being in india--even when its a struggle. i love that God calls us to wait on Him and then changes us in the process. i hate waiting. but i love being changed.
cheers. to life.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
a day in the life.
Don’t be alarmed…but I got hit by a motorcycle yesterday.
Got me right in the back and sadly I didn’t escape without casualties.
She was a good little umbrella, i'll miss her dearly but better her arm than mine i guess...
The men on the bike made a clean get-a-away, I didn’t even have the chance to shake a fist at them let alone chase after them and i was kind of in shock so that slowed me down too.
I’m pretty stiff this morning, trying to work out the aches in my neck and legs and back. But I think with the help of powerful painkillers a makeshift icepack and some good old fashioned yoga stretching I’ll recover ok. Although you might see me carrying around a rear view mirror from now on to make sure no motorcycles backend me on my walks home…
And if that wasn’t enough, I think I have Guardia, thus the nausea at every and any smell or thought of food. The other side effects I’ll simply keep to myself for now. Although Calvin or Liz or Servant Team America or really anyone whose been to Asia, if you read this I’m sure you can relate and fill in the blanks from your own bacterial infections…
And if that wasn’t enough I find that my newly arrived team (who is amazing) happened across my most sacred treasure…and I’m not lying it is sacred (only second to my boxed series of the Office possibly) and ate half the contents of its golden peanutty goodness. Yes, my American peanut butter diminished painfully quickly yesterday, and i 'm still mourning its loss.
I’m pretty stiff this morning, trying to work out the aches in my neck and legs and back. But I think with the help of powerful painkillers a makeshift icepack and some good old fashioned yoga stretching I’ll recover ok. Although you might see me carrying around a rear view mirror from now on to make sure no motorcycles backend me on my walks home…
And if that wasn’t enough, I think I have Guardia, thus the nausea at every and any smell or thought of food. The other side effects I’ll simply keep to myself for now. Although Calvin or Liz or Servant Team America or really anyone whose been to Asia, if you read this I’m sure you can relate and fill in the blanks from your own bacterial infections…
And if that wasn’t enough I find that my newly arrived team (who is amazing) happened across my most sacred treasure…and I’m not lying it is sacred (only second to my boxed series of the Office possibly) and ate half the contents of its golden peanutty goodness. Yes, my American peanut butter diminished painfully quickly yesterday, and i 'm still mourning its loss.
I guess I’m getting used to Kolkata’s shocks to the system but three in one day did me in yesterday. I wanted to throw the preverbal towel in and call it a day.
So there’s my honest account of a day in the life. Sorry to sound whiny and unprofound. I’ll be back in the swing of things soon I’m sure.
Peace.
So there’s my honest account of a day in the life. Sorry to sound whiny and unprofound. I’ll be back in the swing of things soon I’m sure.
Peace.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
they've arrived!!!
woowee. its been a busy week. my new little chic a dees arrived last friday and are quickly jumping into life here. and can i just add my biased opinion. they're awesome. i love them already. honestly, its an honor to serve and lead folks when you can see their hearts are so genuine and ready to change. i'm anticipating a good face ripping off for each and every one of them...so at the moment they're all staying at our place, making 9 people in our flat with one bathroom. well two if you count the squatty, which is now currently unplugged thanks to one of our beloved servant team members...i mean i wish i could relay the gravity of this situation, he stuck his arm, up to his shoulder down the squatty potty ( imagine a hole in the floor you use for a toilet) and pulled out a cleaning rag that had wedged itself in the pipes. i knew it was going to have to be done i had just been avoiding putting my own arm down the pipes...when the water refuses to drain you know there's a serious clog on your hands.
i'll refrain from details. but, it didn't smell good.
so anyways, we're all learning the dance of community living for at least a few more days before they move in with their families.
i really enjoy these servant teams. being apart of their journey for four months, watching them unpack all their compacted ideas and understandings of God's heart for the poor and His call to the church. i love it too because it always reminds me, unpacks me again, gives me fresh eyes.
please pray for them as they continue to adjust, and learn how to digest all the suffering and pain and joy this city offers us. and for me as i act as shepherd and tour guide extrodinaire.
until next time.
i'll refrain from details. but, it didn't smell good.
so anyways, we're all learning the dance of community living for at least a few more days before they move in with their families.
i really enjoy these servant teams. being apart of their journey for four months, watching them unpack all their compacted ideas and understandings of God's heart for the poor and His call to the church. i love it too because it always reminds me, unpacks me again, gives me fresh eyes.
please pray for them as they continue to adjust, and learn how to digest all the suffering and pain and joy this city offers us. and for me as i act as shepherd and tour guide extrodinaire.
until next time.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
eat, pray, build your muscles...
so this book i've recently cracked open: EAT PRAY LOVE...it's doing a few things.
first of all it's impacted me to write a blog entry, so that says something.
second, it implanted this little voice in my brain that says "ooo, you must visit italy someday", oh ok fine, i'll visit italy, you've twisted my arm. anyone want to come along?
third it's caused me to change my name. well, kind of. indians have a hard time saying beth. the whole "th" sound, impossible for them. it comes out either "bet" which means "large stick" in bengali...or as a contorted look across their face questioning my very identiy as a person with such a difficult name to pronounce. what cruel parents i must have. so anyways, i've changed my name (thanks to this book) to "bella". beautiful in italian. plus it's my little joke on indians i don't know. they want to know my name, i tell them my psuedo name...just like the CIA i love so dearly...my own mini consperacy of sorts.
but on a more introspective note, this book has drawn me deeper into the practice of contemplation and prayer. as she travels through india, she begins searching for God through a certain guru's ashram (equated to a monostary, usually of hindu peruasion). and there she begins to learn the beauty of silence and meditation. what it boils down to for her is that the God of the universe loves her unconditionally. she wouldn't call this God Jesus. but i would...and do. and through this woman's experiences in a little ashram on the west coast of india, i've remembered the great Love that is our Father's name. and the identiy He has clothed us with. just like 1 corinthians says:
first of all it's impacted me to write a blog entry, so that says something.
second, it implanted this little voice in my brain that says "ooo, you must visit italy someday", oh ok fine, i'll visit italy, you've twisted my arm. anyone want to come along?
third it's caused me to change my name. well, kind of. indians have a hard time saying beth. the whole "th" sound, impossible for them. it comes out either "bet" which means "large stick" in bengali...or as a contorted look across their face questioning my very identiy as a person with such a difficult name to pronounce. what cruel parents i must have. so anyways, i've changed my name (thanks to this book) to "bella". beautiful in italian. plus it's my little joke on indians i don't know. they want to know my name, i tell them my psuedo name...just like the CIA i love so dearly...my own mini consperacy of sorts.
but on a more introspective note, this book has drawn me deeper into the practice of contemplation and prayer. as she travels through india, she begins searching for God through a certain guru's ashram (equated to a monostary, usually of hindu peruasion). and there she begins to learn the beauty of silence and meditation. what it boils down to for her is that the God of the universe loves her unconditionally. she wouldn't call this God Jesus. but i would...and do. and through this woman's experiences in a little ashram on the west coast of india, i've remembered the great Love that is our Father's name. and the identiy He has clothed us with. just like 1 corinthians says:
Spirit can be known only by spirit-God's spirit and our spirits in
open communion.
Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's
spirit is doing...
and through silence, contemplation, and prayer we allow ourselves open communion with God. and through Christ we have access to everything this Spirit is doing. beautiful...bella. eh?
i'm starting slow. 10 minutes each morning. its like my violin teacher told me. don't start practicing for 45 minutes at day. not yet, you need rests. do 5 minutes, then small small rest. then 5 more minutes. its how we build muscles we've never used before. so, i'm slowly building my violin holding neck muscle...and my Communion holding spirit muscle.
peace.
bella.
ps-please look at kristin's blog today, it made me laugh out loud.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
my september prayer letter...a moment of reflection.
At the moment, I’m one week back in the saddle, and have the distinct odor of re-entry, still nursing the wounds that goodbyes tend to rip open. And reeling from the sweetness and quickness of being near so many people I love. Although with my team arriving next week (Aug 17) there’s little time to sit idle.
As I reflect on my time at home and peer into this next season I see a horizon of lessons rising upon me. It seems that every time I return to Kolkata it’s a page turn, blowing open to a new season. I have this simple picture of my trusty backpack, the one I pack to explosive tensions, and I see that in this season the many things I carry about this city, God is going to help me unpack. Perhaps it’s the modern backpacker’s version of the ol “my burden is light” promise Jesus gives. See, I trudge around this city, around this life with an unnecessary pack, like going camping with your hair dryer…I’m lugging around my fears, insecurities, prejudices…and I see that God wants to loosen the straps and change my load. It’s like own personal enlightenment.
I see, as always, that we are learning how to love here. Its definition always fluid, Love is changing and growing and calling me to stay close to Jesus. And I’m realizing that love is less like something I carry around in my pocket and more like the lenses I wear over my eyes. Seeing this city, the girls, my teams, myself…through a pair of untainted glass, or perhaps ridiculously tainted?…
Either way, I am going to gain vision.
Vision that bears fruit.
You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the father in My name He may give to you. This I command you, that you love one another. John 15:16
But it’s not romantic, this love. Because to see others through a lens of love is to wear a dangerous type of willingness…to acknowledge brokenness, fear, the possibility of hurt and betrayal and to move ahead anyhow. These lenses do not turn the world rose.
I think instead it turns our hearts to soft.
And it’s something I want to run full force into and frantically away from, all at the same time. Because it’s hard to look at people and care to love. And be bothered to care. And see people, instead of any other number of adjectives…
So, speaking of pain and softness…
Painful things happened at Sari Bari while we were gone, three of our friends chose to leave the business. There are lessons to be learned through this, and I pray freedom will be gained for these ladies, not only from the sex trade but from their fear and brokenness. Please hold them close in prayer.
Also, we are in the very beginning stages of a move. And by very beginning I mean we have a long way to go before we actually move. It’s a place very close to the Gach, with room for a new Sari Bari to start and possibly a half way home later down the road. My simple request? Ask God to make this move VERY clear to us as we begin to explore. These are big steps with big commitments and we’d like a mighty large confirmation!
Also hold our community close in prayer as we welcome this new team of 6 into our lives for the next four months. Pray that I will be the shepherd and voice they need and that God will move in their hearts in beautiful heart breaking ways.
I love you all. And as always, thank you for your love and prayers and voice into my life. Until next time, I’ll be here, un-packing.
Much love,
Beth
As I reflect on my time at home and peer into this next season I see a horizon of lessons rising upon me. It seems that every time I return to Kolkata it’s a page turn, blowing open to a new season. I have this simple picture of my trusty backpack, the one I pack to explosive tensions, and I see that in this season the many things I carry about this city, God is going to help me unpack. Perhaps it’s the modern backpacker’s version of the ol “my burden is light” promise Jesus gives. See, I trudge around this city, around this life with an unnecessary pack, like going camping with your hair dryer…I’m lugging around my fears, insecurities, prejudices…and I see that God wants to loosen the straps and change my load. It’s like own personal enlightenment.
I see, as always, that we are learning how to love here. Its definition always fluid, Love is changing and growing and calling me to stay close to Jesus. And I’m realizing that love is less like something I carry around in my pocket and more like the lenses I wear over my eyes. Seeing this city, the girls, my teams, myself…through a pair of untainted glass, or perhaps ridiculously tainted?…
Either way, I am going to gain vision.
Vision that bears fruit.
You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the father in My name He may give to you. This I command you, that you love one another. John 15:16
But it’s not romantic, this love. Because to see others through a lens of love is to wear a dangerous type of willingness…to acknowledge brokenness, fear, the possibility of hurt and betrayal and to move ahead anyhow. These lenses do not turn the world rose.
I think instead it turns our hearts to soft.
And it’s something I want to run full force into and frantically away from, all at the same time. Because it’s hard to look at people and care to love. And be bothered to care. And see people, instead of any other number of adjectives…
So, speaking of pain and softness…
Painful things happened at Sari Bari while we were gone, three of our friends chose to leave the business. There are lessons to be learned through this, and I pray freedom will be gained for these ladies, not only from the sex trade but from their fear and brokenness. Please hold them close in prayer.
Also, we are in the very beginning stages of a move. And by very beginning I mean we have a long way to go before we actually move. It’s a place very close to the Gach, with room for a new Sari Bari to start and possibly a half way home later down the road. My simple request? Ask God to make this move VERY clear to us as we begin to explore. These are big steps with big commitments and we’d like a mighty large confirmation!
Also hold our community close in prayer as we welcome this new team of 6 into our lives for the next four months. Pray that I will be the shepherd and voice they need and that God will move in their hearts in beautiful heart breaking ways.
I love you all. And as always, thank you for your love and prayers and voice into my life. Until next time, I’ll be here, un-packing.
Much love,
Beth
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
the story of life in india.
well, i tried to sign up for violin lessons today. my teacher? possibly the sweetest indian man ever. i found his number on the internet...yes sounds sketchier than it really is. he teaches at the kolkata music school so i went to register today, however it just couldn't be as easy as that.
first i had no idea how to get there and unfortunately neither did my taxi driver... nor do i know how i will return there since public transportation seems to be anti kolkata music schools and their students who might need to use public transportation.
and of course i didn't bring enugh money for the fees. and of course none of the atm's in the area would accept my card. and of course i have to go back tomorrow because tomorrow's final registration day...and besides i do not want to make the office secretary angry. she is a woman you want on your side. like a mix between the Sinfield soup nazi and the immigration officer at the airport. yes, she is the one you bring chocolates to at christmas. she is the one who's feet i would kiss.
so again i realize, it takes so much time for such simple things here.
always.
the story of life in india. you'd think i'd be used to it by now. nope. i still want to come home and drown my sorrows in chocolate and diet cokes. but there's no diet cokes, so cold water had to do.
and with eye on the prize energy regained, i'll hike up my bootstraps, and return to claim my rightful violin registration.
tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
10 tips for life, and the salsa dance...
yes, i'm learning to salsa in india...the explanations could be as vast as kolkata is overpopulated...
and yes i'm learning about life as i reajust to kolkata, again where to start in explanations....
1. when salsa dancing, steer clear of indians flailing about the dance floor and steer near those who perfected the artform...the spanish, or that random italian who also knows what he's doing either/or.
2. when salsa dancing...do not bust into the macarana. ahem. not cool.
3. when salsa dancing, try your best to avoid partner toe stepping. awkard for everyone. and a possible safety hazard.
4. when walking in kolkata, pick up your feet, sidewalks offer no mercy to the half hazard stroller. or the chronic foot shuffle.
5. avoid sharing personal information about the music on your ipod especially if you catch yourself singing to an old insync song that snuck intself into a random mix. awkward for everyone and possibly a safety hazard.
6. be open to masked beauty...even when all around you seems dingy and dispair.
7. enjoy running water. because sometimes your water pump burns a hole in itself and it takes a week to be repaired. ahem...
8. in monsoon, carry an umbrella. need i say more...
9. get your hands on any or all of the Office as soon as possible. and if you know how to download season three...help this poor addicted soul.
10. practice being open. to things different. to folks different. to help and love. and laugh in public even if it means that you're the one who tripped up the bus steps...
and yes i'm learning about life as i reajust to kolkata, again where to start in explanations....
1. when salsa dancing, steer clear of indians flailing about the dance floor and steer near those who perfected the artform...the spanish, or that random italian who also knows what he's doing either/or.
2. when salsa dancing...do not bust into the macarana. ahem. not cool.
3. when salsa dancing, try your best to avoid partner toe stepping. awkard for everyone. and a possible safety hazard.
4. when walking in kolkata, pick up your feet, sidewalks offer no mercy to the half hazard stroller. or the chronic foot shuffle.
5. avoid sharing personal information about the music on your ipod especially if you catch yourself singing to an old insync song that snuck intself into a random mix. awkward for everyone and possibly a safety hazard.
6. be open to masked beauty...even when all around you seems dingy and dispair.
7. enjoy running water. because sometimes your water pump burns a hole in itself and it takes a week to be repaired. ahem...
8. in monsoon, carry an umbrella. need i say more...
9. get your hands on any or all of the Office as soon as possible. and if you know how to download season three...help this poor addicted soul.
10. practice being open. to things different. to folks different. to help and love. and laugh in public even if it means that you're the one who tripped up the bus steps...
Sunday, August 5, 2007
the great unpacking.
well, after wondering through the twilight zone of airports and delayed/missed/canceled flights for three days...i'm back in kolkata. its good and hard to be back. with the memories of my beloved friends and family fresh on my mind.
but i'm also excited for all that awaits me here. with my team coming in 10 days i have quite a lot to do before their big welcome.
there is also a painful amount of things going on at sari bari, most of what i will wait to expand on. but i will say this, please pray for our ladies. we are seeing some of our friends reacting out of their fear and brokenness and as a result they have left. please pray for God's softening in their hearts and minds, and for their brokenness to be mended, and that freedom can still be realized in their lives. this news has still not fully sunk in, it is quite sad. what can we do. we must pray.
more reflection to come.
for now, i'm going to finish tackling the unpacking burden that's spread across my room!
peace.
but i'm also excited for all that awaits me here. with my team coming in 10 days i have quite a lot to do before their big welcome.
there is also a painful amount of things going on at sari bari, most of what i will wait to expand on. but i will say this, please pray for our ladies. we are seeing some of our friends reacting out of their fear and brokenness and as a result they have left. please pray for God's softening in their hearts and minds, and for their brokenness to be mended, and that freedom can still be realized in their lives. this news has still not fully sunk in, it is quite sad. what can we do. we must pray.
more reflection to come.
for now, i'm going to finish tackling the unpacking burden that's spread across my room!
peace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)