a little throwback.

i know this is a little throwback to september. but here's the table sarah and kristin got me for my birthday. from here on out pictures will be non existant i'm afraid, at least ones from my own hand...my camera got stolen in nepal. so i'll try to work with what i got, mad typing skills.
peace.




also, this was another part of my birthday greatness. i love motorcycle rides. so lets just say this was yet another birthday dream come true, cruizing around the city on the back of this sweet enfield. thanks julian!

taking up arms.

What do we believe. About ourselves. Our lives. Our abilities.
Is there worth.
Ambition.
Love.

What I’ve been learning lately has lots more to do with my insides, and a lot less to do with this world I see around me. inner transformation some might say.
And here I am again, sitting beside my familiar old friend. unearthing. Transforming. Realizing.
My self.

Community is the song we sing in chorus around here. And living it is the battle we fight.
Openness, vulnerability, neediness.
Community.
Away from isolation. And into the light.
And here I am again, sitting beside my familiar old f riend. Unearthing. Transforming.
Realizing.
My self.

I heard we fight with weapons unlike the world’s.
I’ve heard that flowers grow in gun barrels.
And even cracks in concrete cannot contain the nature’s power: beauty.
And when we choose to dress ourselves in battle gear that declares our weakness, we are ready. So I’ve heard.
When we beat our swords into plow shares.
And pick up humility.
Understanding. vulnerability. Brokenness.
These, our sharpest defense.
weapons beyond this world.
A profound picture painted in my mind.

this will be short, and poorly typed,due to a bad spacebar at the hotel internet cafe.
butjust had to write and say that our retreat to the mountains has been amazing. meeting with all theWMF family from around south asia has been encouraging and beautiful.providing me with needed perspective and confirmation i wasn't even trying to seek. again i am reminded of the family i belong to here. and it is good.
not to mention those dang beautiful hills that surround us....
nothing like a little massive beauty to blanket a person with peace.
moreto come froma better space bar.

lovefromnepal.

more news from the mountains.

well, tomorrow our staff, my team and i will all be loading the big silver bird bound for nepal. i think i'm really looking foward to a break from kolkata. a time in the air. to breathe. to unwind.
i'm also excited to have our bengali staff come with us. we're having our WMF regional retreat which means they get to chill with all the amazingly beautiful nepali staff for a week.
anyways, more news from the mountains.

oh, and last night i had a dream that i found my mom and dad trying to buy train tickets at the border station in nepal...um, mom? dad? are you secretly meeting me in kathmandu.

i'm just saying...

i've got a good looking pair of roommates.

this is an original "happy birthday kristin keen"

picture.

the burning Light.

its hard to know what to write some days.

some days it feels more like a discipline. the being. the listening. the waiting. and some days, when the sun sinks down, i might just begin to believe that this is my life here. and that on most days, i even quite enjoy it.

today when kristin and i visited the gach we brought a cake to celebrate one of our friend's birthdays. she giggled a lot, as we females tend to do when words don't seem to come...when celebration's in our midsts, it doesn't even matter that indian cakes taste like logs of butter and lard...

and as with all the other girls we visited today, i sat on their beds and tried to wrap my mind around the understanding that continues to elude me.

what is reality for a sex worker ? and what is my place in that reality.

i ache to know their stories, to understand every string and strand that has woven them into lanes of Kolkata. instead i get broken bengali understandings, smiles, cha.

and open doors, "come agains", and a chance to keep peering into their darkness.

a chance to keep understanding.

in all honesty it was a normal day, a great day.

mondays, i visit the gach and have my team over for supper. i lure them in with chilli and chocolate and rip their faces off with yet another disturbing movie.

but i wonder how such a day can ever get normal.

or do i just get numb.

may love continue to melt my heart into a wax worthy of the burning Light.

amen.

october prayer letter...

Dreams of home...

Eternity in our hearts. Hope unseen. The already not yet Kingdom of the Lamb.
Where does this lead.
Here I groan to be clothed. And things aren’t right. I dream of home.

How do we grow this eternity within us. How do we live in it, hope for it. Expect it.
How do I peer into the darkness, and make out the shapes of hope. Find my way home.
Looking to the place where the sex trade won’t exist. Where kids won’t have HIV and a father’s love commands the child, not his fist.
Where does the pain of life melt into the river of new life? Where does starving find its end? And poverty’s hand released?
I’ll find it all in You.
Jesus.
Eternity.
Kingdom.
Tears wiped clean. Promises kept. Coming and staying.
The great Kingdom of the Poor. The great Kingdom of the Lamb.
Entrusted in this frail heart?
Planted within us, growing up among us. The hope of new life for my friends and myself.

For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven inasmuch as we having put it on will not be found naked.
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I welcome you, into this struggle that seems to follow me through every corridor, hallway, waking moment. My struggle for Home. The one in which I grasp and cling to hope, aching for the Kingdom and a Savior who is in fast pursuit of our very lives. Hope against the evidence living before me, that things will get better, that my steps slice through darkness, and the Kingdom of God is growing up in the most unlikely places.

It has been a busy few months with my team of 6 arriving almost 2 months ago. It has been my great joy to watch them discover. They are six sets of hands and feet bringing me new perspectives, adventures, brokenness, and laughter. It’s beautiful to watch them taste, drink in this new culture and breathe with the lungs of new transformation as God breaks them open. I see them discovering the growth of the Kingdom, among the cracks in the city’s broken walls. They indeed help me rediscover …

The ladies as Sari Bari continue to amaze me. They are my tangible hope. Even on the most broken of days, their touch softens me. Their presence reminds me of the Kingdom promised, the Kingdom at hand. I wish you all could come and experience this beautiful place for yourself!

In just 10 days our entire staff, my team, and I will be heading to Nepal for our first regional retreat. Please remember us as we travel and join together with other WMF communities in our region to reflect, pray, and retreat. It will be a much needed time away and we’re excited to have ten days of cool weather too!

We are also entering into the Hindu holiday season here, and with it comes busier streets, crowded metros, giant constructs to celebrate their idoled hope. Please hold us close during this season, as the spiritual climate intensifies. Also I ask that you pray on behalf of our community. Please pray for peace and grace and forgiveness to cover us as we learn how to love and serve and communicate with one another, as we face our own darkness and brokenness.

I certainly see that God is growing me, revealing me, unraveling me. I try to grasp and cling, only to realize I’m grasping at myself. I see that only dressed in Christ’s mercy and love will my strength remain. I believe I am losing my faith…faith in myself and the strength I’m convinced I maintain.
May God continue to plant his Kingdom within. Setting me free to imagine and dream and live for something I could never create with the strain of my own hands. A journey of transformation, a hope of fullness yet to come.
May we all continue to dream of Home, where the warms lights of welcome burn for us to arrive.

Much love to you all, you are missed and loved.
beth


For the love of Christ controls us. And one died for all so that we are no longer controlled by ourselves.

**picture taken by the lovely Kristin Keen.**

reflections on ephesians.

Lay aside the the old self which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit.

Put on the new self-the likeness of God, created in righteousness and holiness and truth.


Lay aside falsehood.

Be imitators of God.

Beloved children

Walk the footsteps scuffed in the sand.

Look in the mirror, let him adjust your reflection.
Let him offer you something you cannot give yourself.
Dressing you in sacrifice.
Hiding you in love.
Exposing you in Light.
Freedom.

Let the shroud drop from your shoulders. Pool around your dusty calloused feet.
Let the sting of naked be exposed.
And the light squint your eyes.
Peer deep into it. You will not see the end. You cannot see the source.
Because, for this, for us, His depths are endless.

“awake my love
Live again.
My son’s light surrounds you. Lifts you. Lives.
And so will you.”

As the beloved that you are…
Run, leap, jump, abound in the love that is yours to discover and reveal for every moment of your life.
Beautiful Jesus. Beautiful love.
Beloved that we are, reflect in us oh Lord.