cold hands, warm heart. thats what i always say...or at least thats what i'm saying now that i'm in this freezing cold landmass called indiana...the temp is dropping, and my layer-age is rising, quickly...but i can't complain too long...with homemade chilli simmering away on the stove and my beautiful family sitting around the living room, coziness is bursting at the seams here at the waterman home...even with all the awkward difficult uncomfortable parts of re-entering...its still good to be home...
and now for a few first week encounters...
-at the airport in dc, a woman had one of those yippy long haired rat dogs...no problem, to each their own...the double take happened when i saw her checking its diaper...ITS DIAPER? doggy diapers people, come on...
-my second day driving on ice, i almost slid twice into the corn fields. and no, i wasn't even speading.
-i've consumed beef every day i've been back. and kyle, biscuits and gravy in your honor...
-yesterday i drove through the rally's drive through wrong...twice...well come on people the arrows were covered in ice and snow...

in 24 hours...

in less than a day...
and i'll be donning mittens and scarves and socks and sweaters and electric blankets and...am i going overboard on the cold factor?...
in some ways a year and a half is no time at all, in other ways i can't believe its been that long.
as i spend the morning cramming stuff in my duffel bag, i find my mind drifting towards home. excited and anxious, knowing that the cold won't be the only thing thats a shock to the system. much like the things i'm trying to chuck in my bag, our ladies, staff, and friends overflow in heart. its been a difficult week, and without going into messy details, i simply ask, actually beg for your prayers...please pray for us here in k town. for sb and our ladies, their families, kyle and our staff. may God's peace and comfort cover over the multitude of pain. may God have mercy and reveal great hope...something i'm struggling hard to keep hold of these days...in every facet of my life...in every crack and cranny...i'm asking to see hope.

found in the hands of park street's labouring kiddos...
in the body of the sick, discarded ignored untouched...
in the faces of the madams, women, girls who line familiar alleys...
in the eyes of the addicted, i pray imagination is still not lost...
in the embarce of the suffering, the pain, the heartache...hope can be found?
jesus comes, revealed in pressence. discovered in our being. we're called to suffer with. among. beside. this is what it means to love. when sisters' tears become our own...
and i wonder to myself, somehow hope must be unvieled...
in light of advent and celebrating emmanuel, i see again more clearly the beauty of the savior i follow, the suffering of his heart for his beloved, and what he offers in response to his call to love...


i trully can't wait to see you all. and celebrate this season with so many of you...

well, this time next monday, i'll be on state road 19, slipping into a winter coat and tossing off the flip flops (and probably in drastic weather shock) as i pull into the Waterman homestead, back home again in indiana..
everyday the ladies ask me when i'm leaving, when i'll be back. to go quickly. and return faster. everyday i tell them my mind will have so much suffering and sadness being away for a month...as it seems to be with most goodbyes, the reunion is so so sweet...my second mind will always be where i'm not...

well yesterday we wrapped over 30 beautifully decorated saris for this year's christmas celebration. and again my appreciation and love of sarah grows as i reflect on how she has instilled in us, in me, the importance of celebration. in the midst of suffering, pain, discouragement, there's still space for celebration. and we do a heck of a job at it, in my humble opinion...
we also decorated the flat with some sweet and horribly tacky christmas decorations...and accompanied by some kenny g christmas tunes, i think we're definitely ready for the holiday season...(kristin i had flash backs of our charlie brown tree...making all things new right?)
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i love when the sb ladies start laughing so hard they can't breathe...especially when they're laughing at poop stories, some things are absolutely universal...
i love that i have to use a blanket at night, and its chilly enough to wear a sweater during the day...and then kyle reminds me its still in the 80's...
i love that the gospel of jesus is rocking my face off these days, and that its revolutionary counter cultural message never loses its power...
i love that people are excited to see me when i get home...and that my brother is making a chachi's home for christmas to do list, that include the breakfast house, ihop, and lots of beef...
i love the horrid decorations in our living room, and that kyle made a christmas alien head as the center piece on our bookshelf...and that it will probably not be moved until after the holidays...
i love that even after a hard day...there's still things to smile about.
and that every day mercy is made new, even to me.
goodnight.
see you soonly!!!

i don't think its just the music playing in the background...though josh tillman does a grand job of setting the melodramatic scene...
its been one of those days. hard. tiring. emotional.
for those of you who know her...i simply ask, pray for imagination.
and while you're at it, go ahead and lift one up for our ladies at SB...and their husbands who most days i have about a one in a million chance of wanting to love well, and you can hit up our land lord while you're at it as well he's up there on the one in a million list...
i continue to ask when this heart of peace and love will emerge from within me...some need far more refining than others i suppose.
so this evening, i hold my prayer beads close, and continue to whisper out requests for those i want to love the most...my enemies...my makeshift family...my sweet sweet community...
reflecting on hope...and aching to fix my eyes. somedays easier than others.

less than two weeks before i head home. and i won't lie, pretty excited. though my heart breaks also to miss christmas k town style. the simplicity of celebration here, the intimacy of community, the sweet sweet time with our ladies...every day they ask again which date i'm leaving...and which date i'm coming...and today a new one...that they're going to pray extra hard while i'm home, because a month is certainly enough time for me to discover their "jiju"/"brother in law"/"my new husband". ha. hope springs eternal i keep hearing. we'll see.
i'd be happy with a pound of coffee for christmas...

well enough for one late evening.
mostly wanted to write and ask for you to join me in my whispers to the father this evening. mostly cause i know i can't go at it alone.
good nite.
and see many of you very very soonly.