happy anniversary. one year since i left for india. and stepped into beautiful kolkata.
i stumbled across this little verbal process from 28 Jan 07. thoughts from the past, enjoy.
1 week in India.
Already one week finished. i think today more than normal i'm feeling it sink in, that i'm not just visiting, no longer the intern. i'm here for a longer haul. i'm here for better or for worse.
i feel the gulp in my throat, and the tension in my heart. hear the tremble in my words.
i'm here.
i'm missing my family and friends and feeling their absense today. the newness will wear. and the daily will come and with it, responsibility and growth and pain and joy.
i'm afraid and excited.
fear to fail. to extend. to forget.
fear of not being good enough whisper in the corridors of my mind...
but i also hear Christ's voice, "invite Me inside".
i also hear the voice of confidence. to remind. and rebuke.and press on.
my mind, like a pot boiling over. unable to grab hold and strain through each word. thoughts of home melt together with this new reality of life. in some ways i feel completely out of control. in most ways, i am.
i think further down the road, to 3 years from now. to 6 months from now, to next month...week...day.
and i remind my battering old hag of a mind, to take a day, a moment at a time.
one step at a time please.
wait in line.
one thought at a time.
4 comments:
Hey, thanks for the great post. I am feeling all of that stuff right now. I've been back in Kathmandu all of 3 days. Its a little overwhelming and great all at the same time. See you all soon.
love you bethie. i celebrate this anniversary with you. i look forward to this next year with you.
much love!
melissa
wow beth. in many ways it feels like only a short time ago that i first met you as you walked into the omaha office with your big smile. so proud of the ways you have served this last year.
love,
amanda
felicitations cuz! you are beautiful.
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