belated Lental reflections.

Last night I began reflecting on the 40 days ahead.
And well, I concluded that I’m able take a million easy avenues…give up chicken…if the bird flu in West Bengal hadn’t helped force the discipline already…or I could give up dating…but so far I haven’t needed Lent’s helping hand to keep me single, Kolkata does a fine job by itself…or there’s always cheeseburgers/tank tops/driving/using toilet paper... But the point is, that looking towards a time of discipline, sacrifice, and submission, I find myself longing to create a space through my laying down, through something sincere, practicing my no’s as David Landt would preach. Where God’s words come into focus. like the twisting of an old SLR camera lens and I begin to test who my masters are, and peer deeper into the mysteries of a relationship with my Savior.
The fast before the great celebration.
I like it.

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Lent has begun. The countdown to a beautiful celebration.
A giving up. A reflection. Stepping back.
To be a part.
Usually I start off strong-ready to give up tons, ready to make goals, loads of promises on how to spend my day in prayerful reflection.
Loads of promises-ideals-rarely taking root.
Unable to see me through to the celebration day. I fizzle out.
Breakdown. Get tired, busy, bored.
So this year? Well this year’s different.
I feel like I’ve got no choice but to take it slow. One step-one day of expectancy at a time. Look too far ahead and I forget where I’m standing in the present. So, I’m not lenting, at least not how I’ve practiced before.
I’d like something more lasting, more steady, more sincere.
Keep chipping away at this schedule of mine. This life of mine. To recapture the meaning of sacrifice, taking in more breaths that water new life.